Sometimes I Get Really Frustrated

I'm hoping to find a magical fountain of mommy patience somewhere. There are times when my girls start to wear on me. Wear me out, drive me crazy, and I hate to get angry because then it solves no problems. They make me angry though. Like this afternoon they both want to go out on the swing set as soon as we get home from the library. They don't let me put my things down they have to go right away in fancy dresses on a rainy day. Then they get out there and start fighting over the rope handle they both want to spin with. My turn, no my turn, pushing shoving and someone gets their eye grabbed and scratched, the other one gets pushed. Now I'm not eating my nice banana snack and drinking my seltzer I'm yelling at them to go inside. So we go inside and they are both screaming and crying loudly so it doesn't really help if I join in. I'm working on some strategies to help, like posting here more often. I'm also going to try 1-2-3-Magic and I'm hoping it works because I don't like being at the end of my rope.

I Loved Everything You Made Tonight Mama

This is the first time in the four and a half years I've been cooking for my daughter that I got actual praise for the dinner I made. Of course as a mom our jobs include all of the drudgery of servitude but it's nice to be rewarded with the enthusiastic compliments of a picky eater. I served alphabet soup and James Beard Popovers. She loved all of the letters in her soup and she even said, 'I love all the carrots in here.' The popovers were the best I've ever made and they will be repeated often. All in all it was a good evening. The areas that still need improvement include bedtime and whining.

My Best Friend's Wedding

I'm thirty-five with two kids and I finally get to be a bridesmaid. I'm not going to say a bridesmatron because that just doesn't sound right, it's not my fault she waited until I was old and married to go and get herself married up. I am planning a scrumptious bridal shower at the beautiful Tower Hill Botanic Garden. This little job is proving to be quite exciting. I loved seeing Bridesmaids last week and I'm dying to get a big heart shaped cookie with her and her fiances names on it and rolling around on the ground kicking it. My best friend is a meticulous perfectionist and I'm a home ec flunky. With the help of all the other bridesmaids we should be able to get something lovely accomplished.

Lyra finishes up her first year at preschool the end of this month. She has been doing a fabulous job on her hair lately. She doesn't like to brush it, but she will pull it back into a pony tail and add purple and pink hair extensions. I always enjoyed expressing myself through my hairstyles and I'm glad she's carrying on that tradition. Manic Panic purple wouldn't fit in with my current mommy set. That would look more like a Manic Panic Melt Down at my age. But it looks good on my 4 year old. Also we've been singing the songs that she performed for Family Night at home lately and she is doing a great job teaching the whole family these really cute songs. I'm proud of my beautiful little girl who is starting to grow up in front of my eyes.

You're not doing anything wrong

This title came from a discussion I was having with my friend who cleans our house about toddler birthday parties. She was telling me how she was helping out a friend who is a single mom with her little ones bday party and it just felt like chaos and her friend asked her, "What am I doing wrong?" To which she replied "You're not doing anything wrong." This is what I have to keep reminding myself as I slog through these early years with two girls twenty months apart. And it has been bringing up some great titles for the memoir I'll write someday. "What were we thinking" "You're not doing anything wrong, it's just that age" "What happened to my brain" and "Mommyhood Bites".

I've also been coming up with analogies to describe to people what I'm going through as a stay at home mom. I feel like I'm climbing up an escalator that's going down, and I never get to the top. Sometimes the damn thing shoots me off the bottom and I have to get up and try again and again and again. The first few months home with the girls I kept telling friends I felt like I was trying to learn how to juggle cats. Everyone kept saying, "That's impossible." And I'm thinking, "Now you know how I feel." Of course the most obvious analogy is Atlas the guy holding the world on his shoulders. Yes we have undertaken a whole new world of responsibility here raising two babies. We have also undertaken the responsibility of taking our birth control very seriously. There will be no more security breaches for this family. Treading Quicksand. Just to name a few.

Micheal Jackson I'll Miss You

I'm so sad that Micheal Jackson passed away. He was an icon of our era and his music was the soundtrack in so many places I remember. He was also an unapologetic supporter of bed sharing. I only really appreciate this as a mother. I share my bed with my husband and both of our children. I love having my family so close. I think Micheal was an adult who loved kids in a very innocent way. When he talks about bed sharing in the interviews I understand exactly what he is saying. It is a wonderful thing to be close to children, it's sad that our society thinks sex when we talk about shared sleep. I support bed sharing and I'll miss Micheal Jackson.

My Little Pumpin

"Pumpin" We had so much fun with Halloween this year L dressed up as a pumpkin and whenever we asked her what she was she said "Pumpin." Her favorite book for Halloween is called Pumpkin Eye and she always asks to read "Pumpin Eye." She also likes to read Big Joe's Trailer Truck and asks for "Big Joe Truck." If I have something she wants and she really wants it she says "Need it" over and over until I break down and give it to her or put it away. She's eaten a lot of chocolate this way.

She also tells mommy and daddy who to hold. "Willow take Mommy Lyra take Daddy." That means mommy holds Willow and Daddy holds Lyra or vice versa.

The Cutest Quotes

L is starting to talk up a storm now. Her two year old vocabulary is growing by the day and she has some really cute phrases that only those closest to her can understand. They are so cute they are worth recording. Whenever she sees something she wants but can't reach she says, "Pick it." Then you have to talk to her about which thing it is she wants to pick. After going to the park yesterday we got home to have hot cocoa and she said "hot tok to." She also can't pronounce the "s" at the beginning of all her words making her favorite item the "tep tool" hard to understand. I still forget she's talking about the Step Stool. There are more, I'll write them in when I get a chance/remember.